We Make the Time

If you were to look at my Google Calendar, you'd probably cry for me. We have a VERY busy schedule. On an average day, I work (mind you, I work full time hours), go to school (I am a full time student), have my home and family obligations, not to mention making time for extended family and ward activities. People often look ask me, "how do you have the time?"

We make the time.

Not too long ago we really didn't have a lot going on. I was on bed rest while pregnant with Brayden and working part time. I wasn't allowed to really do anything, and therefore, didn't do anything. Bubba's soccer was basically our only activity outside of work and doctors appointments and we didn't seem to mind it.

Better put, we didn't realize we minded it.

Things got very rough in our marriage quickly. We got sick of each other, sick of the four walls that was our then one bedroom apartment. We dreaded doing anything with each other, and in turn we fought a lot. After Brayden was born (and was old enough to go out and about with regularly), we decided we needed a change of pace.

I'm not going to lie. Family isn't my strong point. My husband was raised in a very family oriented family. Everything in his life and his home was about the family unit. I wasn't raised quite like that, I was raised a little differently and those differences made a huge impact in our marriage. It didn't take long for me to realize I had to make a change in our marriage or our family wasn't going to be the happy little family we wanted.

As a joke, one of my colleagues told me that Mormons never get divorced because they are too busy to decide to hate each other. This stuck in my mind. Joke or not, there was truth to that statement, and I took to the City Weekly and other free newspapers in search of things for us to do.

We got busy quickly.
Bubba picked up on helping coach two soccer teams, plus playing on a few recreational teams for himself.
I got registered for classes at night.
We set up weekly date nights.
We made going to my parents and in-laws a priority and a weekly event.
We got involved in church and went to weekly and monthly activities.
We quit saying "no" to family events and started saying "yes" to as many things as possible.

Something happened within all the chaos. Things changed in our marriage, but not in the way we wanted our family life to be. We still have dinner at home almost every night, and when we aren't eating at home, it is usually at my mother-in-law's. Brayden is almost always falling asleep in his bed...and when he isn't in his bed, he's sleeping in Grandpa's arms (which, lets face it, is just as good if not better).

We now cherish our time together, because we have little to no time just for the two of us. We talk to each other and have deeper and more rich conversations. We enjoy being with the other, because we know how limited our time is together.

In turn good things have happened with the family. Brayden knows all his Aunts and Uncles and gets to have the fun experiences I could have only hoped he'd have with them. We know our family better and are there to help when needed. We get to see the family at more functions than just the Christmas parties once a year. We get to participate in sports, which teaches the little dude to love and enjoy the outdoors and the importance of exercise in our family. We do service projects when we can, hoping that he'll learn how fun it is to help others. When I'm doing homework, Bubba and Brayden read books as well, and he loves to play with the books and listen to us read to him.

Being busy is helping us create a better home and family life.

How do we have the time?
We had the time before, we'd rather MAKE THE TIME.