The thing is, the world doesn't see what is going on, and the end result and the judgement, is unbelievable.
According to the world, I am a terrible mom.
__ __ __
According to the lady at Dollar Tree, I'm raising a brat.
She said this because when she entered the store my son was starting to get fussy. She had absolutely zero idea that he and I had been to five different stores, over the course of three hours, with little to no break and a snack he refused to eat still in the car. After much begging and trying to be a good mommy, I finally gave in and offered him a board book in exchange for him behaving himself.
She saw this and felt the need to inform me that I am raising a brat while we waited in line to check out.
What she didn't see, or hear, for that matter, was my son telling me "thank you", very excitedly as I handed it to him. She didn't see him tell everyone in the store how happy he was to have a new book. She didn't hear him thank the lady at the check-out when she handed the book back to him after scanning it. She didn't see any of the manners, or the sweet moment when we were leaving, and I told him I was frustrated with him being grumpy, how he threw his arms around my neck and told me "sorry, mommy."
Instead, she saw me raising a brat.
___ ___ ___
According to a friend on facebook, I'm a bad parent.
This was said because she witnessed a mom hand over her phone to her kids and let them watch videos on it during a meal at a restaurant. The kids were perfectly quiet and didn't disturb a soul, and even ate all their food when it came. I defended that action, because honestly, at one point or another, you do it to survive wherever you are.
But instead of appreciating the silence, instead of being thankful the child in front of you isn't having a complete meltdown, instead of understanding; we're bad parents.
They don't even see the fact that it's on an educational video.
___ ___ ___
According to family, I'm too hard on my son.
Little Dude is an incredible boy. He loves to help and has the biggest heart. He WANTS to help, and if I don't give him ways to help, he "helps" in his own ways that are disastrous. They see me forcing my toddler to work, when in reality, he wants to be busy and productive.
They see me giving him rags with dish soap on them, and see him taking to the walls and to the kitchen, wiping everything down for me. They see him helping me make dinner, see him trying to help me vacuum, see him helping me get the mail, see him trying to help me sweep the floors. They see a toddler being turned into Cinderella.
What they don't see is the toddler at my feet in the kitchen, hugging my legs and screaming "Mommy! I help!" and this act continuing until I put his apron on and set up his stool. What they don't see is the toddler shoving me out of the way whenever the vacuum turns on so he can be the one to do it. What they don't see is the kid who actually will clean up his toys when asked, and who will sing and dance while we work.
Instead, they see me being "too hard" on my son.
___ ___ ___
According to the mommy blogger community, I don't do enough for my toddler. I'm holding him back.
They don't see the daily coloring time we do. They don't see all the books we read. They don't see the trips to the park, or the dancing we do. They don't see how I set up a workout routine at home that my son and I can both do, to encourage hand-eye coordination. They don't see the snuggles, and the educational videos about animals. They don't see the hours spent on the floor playing with trucks, or the Pinterest board full of ideas that we are always working on.
I'm not like them. I don't tell everyone everything.
So instead, they see a complacent mom who doesn't do anything for her kid.
___ ___ ___
It's amazing, how hard we all fight for us to quit being so nasty to each other, yet this is just a 36 hour period in my life. There are so many other moments that I could describe in my day that makes me want to lose my mind at other people, other women, and other mommies, that are so out of line.
- Like the bitch who laid on her horn while my son and I were crossing the street. In a crosswalk. And we had the right of way. She yelled at me because I was letting him walk and it "took too damn long."
- Or the rude lady at the store who got upset because my son was mimicking mommy and was looking through the clothing rack. No clothing was damaged, he was barely touching it, yet she was nasty with us.
- Like the jerks who openly comment on us allowing our son to sing when we are out in public. It's twinkle, twinkle Little Star, you d-bag, get over it.
- Or the numerous amount of people who give us dirty looks when my son happily smiles at them and says "Hey! How are you?" He's being polite, yet they can not help encourage the good behaviors or manners.
According to the world, I can do everything right, and it is still absolutely wrong. I can pay all the attention in the world to my son, I can work hard to make sure he knows how to act in public, I can be the best mom I can possibly be, and I will still be a terrible mom.
I guess I'll have to deal with that title, it could certainly be worse.