I still will not go into details, but I'd like to thank my online family and friends who prayed for my little family over the last few days. Your faith and prayers not only have comforted me at a time of serious need, and for that I thank you.
This weekend was spent putting my faith in the lord. I asked for blessings, for prayers and for inspiration from heaven. I asked for so many different things, but the big thing I asked for was a miracle. I didn't know if the lord would answer such a vague prayer. If I didn't know what I wanted- how could he provide me with the support, love and reassurance I so needed? I kept my mind focused on the lord and kept praying, telling him "lord, I am putting this in your hands."
When the time came for to see if my prayer had been answered, I was shocked at how calm I had suddenly become. After days of trembling, sobbing, shaking and being a total mess, I suddenly was calm. All I could do was thank the lord for this feeling of peace during such a scary time. The hymn "Where Can I Turn For Peace?" ran through my head and I focused on breathing, feeling peace and just being.
Things are not totally better as of yet. I'm still trying to heal and trying to get back to where I need to be. The stress alone of this last week has dropped me 15 lbs, ten of those being lost since Friday. I've been struggling to eat, to drink, to do anything besides tend to the situation at hand and my baby.
I've been on my knees still, praying for everything. I've been searching the scriptures, searching for peace. Pinterest has some amazing bible verse chases for when you are stressed, lonely, scared, worried, anything you may ever think.
All I can say is that I had a moment that increased the testimony that I already have for the lord, and for that I am so very thankful. I am so thankful that he has blessed me with those temporary moments of peace and mental clarity. I'm thankful for my family, active, inactive, online and offline, my friends and my acquaintances that have offered the support and love I so needed during this time.
I am so thankful that the internet has opened up a world where I have an online family I can ask for prayers from, that has been through their own messes and recovered, and has provided their own testimonies and faith in the lord for me to find comfort in.
Thank you all. I love you and appreciate all you've done.